study abroad

wow i have not blogged at all or written anything since coming to rome! i dont even know what to say. upon first arriving here i definitely noticed the changes but now im feeling uninspired idk oh its coming back to me now here we go

well...i guess the first thing is that i was pleasantly surprised to discover that i'm perfectly capable of surviving without erick, which is a good thing :) i'd say that for the most part, since leaving the comforts of home, erick has pretty much taken care of me all three years of college. this is really the first time i've been independent, on my own, without anyone to take care of me, physically, mentally or emotionally. and i'm doing great!

there have been lots of changes and new situations that i've come across. for one, i have 6 roommates instead of just one. i have an actual roommate that i share a room with. i was nervous about that. but we haven't had any conflicts at all except that i snore....but as living partners, we get along just great. 

the whole 7 girls in an apartment thing is also going well. going in, i had no idea how many roommates i'd have or what the living situation would be like but i've been able to adjust fairly smoothly to a full house. there are 2 bathrooms, which alleviates morning rush, but it would be nice if we had a bigger fridge. one medium-sized fridge is not enough for 7 people's food. 

i'm also finding i don't really miss madison at all. i was definitely over that campus long ago....i'm so so so so glad i decided to come abroad. i really think it was the best thing i could have ever done. like it just came at the right time. spending a summer in chicago living on my own prepared me really well for coming abroad. i don't think i would have been able to transition as easily if i had come straight from madison. i'm comfortable being on my own, navigating a new city, figuring out public transportation, living with strangers...i've matured a lot just over the summer!!

mentally and emotionally i think i've matured a lot this past year alone. 21 was a big year for me. started out in a back brace in the lowest place i've ever been to living abroad in a historic and cultural landmark of a city....unreal. i think coming abroad has shown me that i want more in life than what i thought i wanted. 

what i thought i wanted before - to get married, start a family and have a job and be rich

what i want now - travel more, live independently for a few years, possibly live in a completely new place for a while and omg i have never voiced these thoughts out loud even if its just words on a screen. but talking to people from all over who have different perspectives on life and how it should be lived has definitely influenced me, if only in slight ways so far. like honestly my mind was definitely inside a midwest-esque box before coming here. but there are other ways to live life!! 

part of me wants to be responsible and try to secure a job immediately after i graduate. but once you enter the working world, that's kind of it... 

idk. so far this whole experience has been so positive and i can't believe i ever had any doubts about it at all! 

xoxo steph lulz

11 years

ireland
competing
competing in ireland
doing shows
wearing sparkly dresses
wearing a wig
wearing 6 pounds of makeup
late night practices
early morning practices
summers at the studio
winters at the studio
being able to leap
winning trophies
standing on podiums
making friends with other girls
seeing said friends all summer
driving long hours to feises with my dad
our talks
playing the sims for 8 hours on aforementioned long drives to feises
crowded venues
feis food
gaelic park
maryville
long summer days spent outside 
medals
getting medals engraved
seeing my name on the results wall
hearing my name called at awards
the oireachtas
the dinner dance
singing christmas carols at awards at oireachtas because it's running late
every
single
year
that feeling of magic at the oireachtas of being in another land
hating the crash when you have to go to school the next day
dance friends
walking around irish fest
workshops with jean butler
the ichc
the old studio on forest home
eating suckers at the pre-oireachtas pep rally that were given to us to shut us up
learning new steps
getting good at new steps
bar exercises
wall squats
getting along with kids 6 or 7 years younger than you
changing in the trailer at irish fest with 70 other people
dingle
the ring of kerry
the glen eagles hotel
killarney
aran sweaters
shopping
aer lingus
inside jokes
that stage
those lights
nerves
so many nerves
leahy's luck shows
buying new tights
new solo dresses
new ghilles
new hardshoes
camp cashel
mount mary college
kathy dennehy
endless hornpipe music
the practice room in embassy suites
rosemont
the hyatt
the walkway
akron
cleveland
indiana
FEISES
so 
many
feises
so
little
time
cold too much air-conditioned venues
too hot venues
cheese fries
high stages
jim shea
maureen doyle
pj mccafferty
red fleece jackets
eye of the tiger
christmas in killarney
the pabst
miller lite
zoo a la carte
the petit center
midwest airlines center
choreography
metallic gold leos
red plaid skirts
blue school dresses
jama jama 
everybody dance now
sleepy maggie
rhapsody in blue
the children's stage
hawaiian shaved ice
minnesota feis
mall of america
kansas city feis
gaelic storm
 


so
many
memories
.

 


 

the shamefulness that is glee

highlights horrors from the latest episode "naked":

rachel sings a duet with......herself. about whether or not she should go topless. LIKE COME ON IS THAT REALLY THE BIGGEST PROBLEM YOU HAVE IN LIFE GET REAL

nelly's "hot in here" playing while high school senior boys pose for a 'sexy' calendar just NO

finn to artie: "it's great that there's a part of your body that you want to keep private" um

"chicks dig guys who are willing to get naked emotionally"

guy to another guy: "you are special...even without your body"

rachel, quinn, and santana singing together. it was awesome, except SINCE WHEN ARE RACHEL QUINN AND SANTANA FRIENDS? DOESNT MAKE SENSE. MAJOR FAIL, GLEE

honestly glee is getting so ridiculous i cant even take it like what is happening

we're only human

Recently, I saw on Facebook that a girl I used to know in my childhood had a baby. Looking at the picture she posted of her and her son hit me with a huge wave of emotion. I can't really say why. It's not that she's the first person my age that I've known to have a kid - I can name at least 7 or 8 off the top of my head - nor is it that she's someone I knew especially well. In all honesty, we've never been anything more than Myspace or Facebook friends. I don't think I've even seen her in person since I was 12. From what I remember of her, she had a lot of friends. She was popular, outgoing, well-liked by the boys; something I recall being very jealous of when I was in middle school. She was also very tiny. She still is. It astonishes me that she was able to push out a baby. 

When I was in middle school, I used to put girls like her on a pedestal. I was insecure about basically everything, and she seemed to have it all. I had this constant overwhelming feeling that she was out there living this awesome life while I sat at home essentially watching her live it, through pictures and statuses that she posted. As I went through high school, I developed my sense of confidence and made new friends and started living my own life instead of watching other people's lives. I was happy. I was busy. I forgot about girls like her. Now, a junior in college, I'm living the fuck out of life and having an amazing time doing it. I'm in a great place. 

It just makes me inexplicably sad that here I am, completely and totally happy and healthy, and then there she is, poised to be burdened the rest of her life by one mistake. It's crazy. She was someone I aspired to be. It's such a radical change from the way I used to view her. I suppose, in a weird way, it's a mark of my own progress as a person. But it's not fair that someone like me gets to go on and be successful while someone like her has to overcome all these obstacles she probably never dreamed of ever having to deal with. I really feel for this girl. 

The caption that she has next to the gorgeous picture of her and her son is elegantly written:

"Sometimes in life, things get messed up. People over think, over analyze, and assume. It's human nature though. We aren't perfect and I'm learning that more and more each day. Everybody's beautiful, everybody's flawed, and everybody deserves second chances. I don't care what you did, how bad you did it or anything. Sometimes we just weren't ready to make it right the first time. We're only human, remember that."

Beautiful. Just hauntingly beautiful. The bare anguish and unbroken strength that she conveys in these few sentences gives me the chills. 

I wish her and her son the best. I really do. Good luck, Kaila.

Day 4.

Day 4: A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Honestly...I don't have any pictures of something I wish I could forget. Why would I take pictures of it? ha.

so this day is a fail...sorry.

Day 3.

Day 3: A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

AH so I couldn't decide what my favorite show is. So I put 2 shows :)

1. The Wonder Years. It's from the 80s about growing up in the late 60s-70s. So an old show. I like old shows. I think t.v. was much better back then. Now it's all crap shows like Jersey Shore, bleghh.

But anyway. I love the Wonder Years because I think it's a really well-done, poignant portrayal of what growing up feels like. Even though I didn't actually grow up in the 70s, I feel nostalgic watching it. Like I'm looking back on my own childhood. It's just fantastic.

2. Gilmore Girls. I absolutely love this show. The acting is okay, and the relationships are fairly drama-filled, but it's the dialogue that gets me. So funny and well-delivered.

My favorite element of the entire show, though, was the relationship between Jess and Rory. Once they finally got together, I didn't actually like them as a couple, but it was the tension leading up to it that was so....epic I guess. I LOVED the chase for Rory from Jess. ohmygosh. Like, you could see her slowly becoming intrigued by him and falling for him and he was SO in love with her. Ah. Simply adorable. looooooved it.

lost? find out more about what the 30 day challenge is here: http://yoplaityogurt.blogspot.com/2011/02/30-day-challenge.html

Day 2.

Clare and I at our finest.

Day 2 - A picture of you and the person you used to be close with.

One summer day, 6-year-old me decided to be a creep and prowl around my neighborhood, cutting through backyards and trespassing through gardens among my block. Well, I ended up in the backyard kitty-corner from mine because they had a really neat swing-set, and I loved swings.

So there I am, casually swinging on someone else's property, when a girl comes out of the house and sees me. Startled, I bolt out of their backyard and back into my own. Also startled, the girl gets her older brother and follows me into my backyard.

I'm sitting on my patio, panting with the adrenaline of becoming an unwanted, discovered intruder, when I see them standing there. They introduced themselves, and from then on, Clare and I were best friends.

We went to different elementary schools, so we were really only summer and weekend best friends, but it didn't matter. I used to go over to her house without telling my parents, completely uninvited; she did the same. Eventually, if our parents couldn't find us in the house, they assumed we were at each other's.

We'll always be close friends, no matter what. But nothing can replace the wild and imaginative adventures we shared in our youth :]

confused? check out what i'm doing here: http://yoplaityogurt.blogspot.com/2011/02/30-day-challenge.html