we're only human

Recently, I saw on Facebook that a girl I used to know in my childhood had a baby. Looking at the picture she posted of her and her son hit me with a huge wave of emotion. I can't really say why. It's not that she's the first person my age that I've known to have a kid - I can name at least 7 or 8 off the top of my head - nor is it that she's someone I knew especially well. In all honesty, we've never been anything more than Myspace or Facebook friends. I don't think I've even seen her in person since I was 12. From what I remember of her, she had a lot of friends. She was popular, outgoing, well-liked by the boys; something I recall being very jealous of when I was in middle school. She was also very tiny. She still is. It astonishes me that she was able to push out a baby. 

When I was in middle school, I used to put girls like her on a pedestal. I was insecure about basically everything, and she seemed to have it all. I had this constant overwhelming feeling that she was out there living this awesome life while I sat at home essentially watching her live it, through pictures and statuses that she posted. As I went through high school, I developed my sense of confidence and made new friends and started living my own life instead of watching other people's lives. I was happy. I was busy. I forgot about girls like her. Now, a junior in college, I'm living the fuck out of life and having an amazing time doing it. I'm in a great place. 

It just makes me inexplicably sad that here I am, completely and totally happy and healthy, and then there she is, poised to be burdened the rest of her life by one mistake. It's crazy. She was someone I aspired to be. It's such a radical change from the way I used to view her. I suppose, in a weird way, it's a mark of my own progress as a person. But it's not fair that someone like me gets to go on and be successful while someone like her has to overcome all these obstacles she probably never dreamed of ever having to deal with. I really feel for this girl. 

The caption that she has next to the gorgeous picture of her and her son is elegantly written:

"Sometimes in life, things get messed up. People over think, over analyze, and assume. It's human nature though. We aren't perfect and I'm learning that more and more each day. Everybody's beautiful, everybody's flawed, and everybody deserves second chances. I don't care what you did, how bad you did it or anything. Sometimes we just weren't ready to make it right the first time. We're only human, remember that."

Beautiful. Just hauntingly beautiful. The bare anguish and unbroken strength that she conveys in these few sentences gives me the chills. 

I wish her and her son the best. I really do. Good luck, Kaila.